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The Live2D Animator of Failure and Passion

It’s a long story, let’s dive into the story behind the name shiranui_bzw – 不知火[我].

A vague existence

So, Shiranui is this fascinating blend of Japanese and Chinese. In Japanese kanji不知火(read as shi-ra-nui)—where 不知 means unknown and 火 means fire or flame. Literally, it translates to unknown fire, a mystical flame that appears out of the blue, usually by the riverside. People try to approach it, but it will move away. There are scientific theories that explain shiranui, but no concrete proof. It’s mysterious, flickering, and, most importantly, it symbolizes the void of identity and vague existence.
Ever heard of the painting “Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? (D’où venons-nous ? Que sommes-nous ? Où allons-nous ?)” by Paul Gauguin? It covers the whole journey of life—beginning, adulthood, elderly life—the whole shebang.

Now, onto the big questions. Who am I? What am I? What will I be? It’s like chasing after the identity of a shiranui—am I just a myth?

The pursuit of meaning

“I think, therefore I am,” said Descartes. We can’t doubt our existence while we doubt. I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am, therefore I exist. Here’s the kicker: I’m questioning myself, thinking, and that alone is proof that I exist. But now what? Still no idea why I’m here and where to go.

Existence precedes essence. To existentialists, we—through our consciousness—create our own values and meaning because we don’t come with an inherent identity or value. We have to make it ourselves. It’s all about making our existence more significant through conscious acts, even if everything seems meaningless.

The pursuit of meaning is meaningful

“A man is but a thinking reed.”—Pascal. It’s like saying we’re wretched and fragile, but guess what? In our awareness of our own weakness, there lies superiority—our unique weapon against our nature. That’s–we think, and we keep on pondering, thinking, and deliberating. That’s the ingenious card humanity plays, and it can’t be taken away.

Now, the name shiranui—it’s all about the lack of identity and the haziness of existence. But, hey, it’s also about the constant pursuit of meaning. There’s this kind of happiness called eudaimonic well-being, where you’re content because you’re on a journey of self-discovery and purpose. Living a self-actualized and meaningful life? That’s the happiness we’re talking about.

Some cultural references

Then there’s this character I dig—Shiranui Hansode from Medaka Box. Mischief-maker, a flickering presence, the puppeteer in the shadows, and, most importantly, zero identity. That resonates with why I picked this name. Also, the major driver for my motivation and passion, the diehard Shirase from Sora Yori mo Tooi Basho (A Place Further than the Universe). Lastly, a nod to Shiranui Mai from Fatal Fury/The King of Fighters franchise. 

Embracing the unknown can propel you on the journey of discovery

And now, let’s talk about the Chinese twist. 不知火 (shiranui) has the same characters in Chinese, but a different pronunciation—bu-zhi-huo. 火 (huo) sounds like 我 (wo) in Chinese. Cue wordplay! So, 不知火 (bu-zhi-huo) becomes 不知我 (bu-zhi-wo) when the 火 (huo) is replaced by 我 (wo). Then abbreviate bu-zhi-wo to b-z-w! That’s the birth of the “bzw” in my name.

Combine shiranui and bzw, and there you have it—shiranui_bzw!

The thing is, what does 不知我 (bzw) mean? A literal translation would be “not knowing (不知) myself (我).” It circles back to the overarching theme of not knowing, the quest for identity, in the pursuit of meaning and self, always contemplating it. It’s never a negative notion; it’s a lifelong journey of self-discovery and the creation of meaning and existence.

When I see the name shiranui_bzw – 不知火, it always serves as a reminder that the act of thinking, thriving, and toiling is in itself sufficient for a meaningful existence. Eventually, it’s like a commandment, compelling people to lead a happy life!

Shira the Song of God

Last but not least, I love it when people call me Shira. Initially, it was just a result of mishearing my name, but I grew fond of it. I genuinely love the sound—it’s not too long, can sound like a Chinese word, and is unique, unlike Shiranui.

And to add a bit of a spiritual twist, Shira also means “The song of God” in Hebrew. It brings this beautiful connection to divine melodies and expressions. It’s like having a name that not only reflects personal identity but also carries a hint of something sacred and harmonious. So, in a way, my name embodies this harmony, a bit of spirituality, and a lyrical connection to the divine.

I know nothing, but that’s fine

Most importantly, “Shira” can also mean not knowing. “All I know is that I know nothing.”—Socrates. The Oracle of Delphi, where the oracle proclaimed something to the effect of “Socrates is the wisest person in Athens.” Socrates, trusting the oracle but also entirely convinced that he knew nothing, supposedly concluded that nobody knew anything. He believed he was wiser than others because he was the only person who recognized his own ignorance.

Being reminded of my ignorance is beneficial; I cherish it, I embrace it. It keeps me humble; I can’t assume, I can’t judge. It allows me to maintain objectivity and approach life with more curiosity and fun.